My meltdowns

I recently had a meltdown. I remember what I told my boyfriend. I told him one minute I was laughing and teasing him the next minute I was in my head in a black abyss. It was like I could see him but couldnt. I can't remember what I physically did but I remember in my head crying and screaming and being scared. I remember being able to speak terribly but getting out the words "I'm scared"  then I was back in my black mind. I could hear him speaking but I could not reapond. I was trapped in a mind I could not control. He tells me I tried to hurt myself but I remember  making fists in my head and holding my hair in worried pain. It hurt to be there. Like sharp bad pain. I knew it was over when I slowly got my sight back and  could speak better. I remember telling him what it felt like. I just moved to listen to his heart and relaxed myself.

My First Post

This here is a Blog about my life as me. I wanted to let the world know i AM NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF!